Pour les anglophones

Very good jokes... Mr.Red

I like the one with the flies...

We can also say that the female were on the border terrier's world forum...
why not? lol!

Yes we can ! lol!

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Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
This is for all the germ conscious folks that
worry about using cold water to clean dishes.

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather
in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan ..
After spending a great evening chatting the night away,
the next morning John's grandfather prepared
breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate,
and questioned his grandfather asking,
'Hey, Grandpa, are these plates clean?'
His grandfather replied,
'They're as clean as cold water can get 'em...
Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'
For lunch the old man made hamburgers.
Again, John was concerned about the plates,
as his appeared to have tiny specks around
the edge that looked like dried egg and asked,
'Are you sure these plates are clean, Gramps?'
Without looking up the old man said,
'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as
clean as cold water can get them.. Now don't you
fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a
nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's
dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.
John yelled and said,
'Grandpa, your dog won't let me get to my car'.
Without diverting his attention from the football game
he was watching on TV, the old man shouted
'Coldwater!! You go lay down now, yah hear me??!'

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Genie, Sweety et Percy

Excellent

and somewhere disgusting puker

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"C'est par les yeux de son chien qu'un maitre apprend à se connaitre"

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Patricia, Darcy et Reddy

"On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur, l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux" (Saint Exupéry)

Excellent ! pas besoin de lave-vaiselle rambo

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Beurkkkkkkk.... It's disgusting. pale

but good joke

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United
Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.

A representative from India began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell
you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named.
When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good
opportunity to have a bath.'
He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.
When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani
had stolen them.'
The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What are you
talking about? The Pakistanis weren't there then.'
The Indian representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made that
clear, I will begin my speech.'

And they say Kashmir belongs to them………………………………………..

comment préparer le terrain pour une bonne négociation lol!

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"C'est par les yeux de son chien qu'un maitre apprend à se connaitre"

Sujet: When Insults Had Class Mer 16 Sep 2009 - 8:55

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your drink."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to PM Benjamin Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies
or your mistress."

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;
I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."
- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend.. if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.."
- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...
for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

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Le chien a son sourire dans sa queue - Victor Hugo

Sujet: LAPICARDE Mer 16 Sep 2009 - 10:53

Merci TRADUCTEUR Windows!!!!!

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Sujet: Re: Pour les anglophones Dim 4 Oct 2009 - 10:15

FINALLY...THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car
and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug
through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What
does it look like?' she ( the blonde woman ) finally asked.

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and
handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
'OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.'

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Genie, Sweety et Percy