Nu, ga ik mijn bad nemen. Tot ziens !

Have a nice bath, see you later ! (et sans aide de traduction ni dans un sens ni dans l'autre !)

Ca dijoncte de plus en plus on comprend maintenant comment devenir border de diamant

Sixth grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered until little Molly stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, and you'll get fired!"

She then sat back down. Mrs. Parks ignored her, and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?

Little Molly's mouth fell open, and she said to those around her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!" The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"

Finally, Jimmy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases to 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Jimmy." Then turned to Molly and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: First, you
have a dirty mind. Second, you didn't read your homework. And third, one day you are going to be VERY VERY disappointed!!!

Celle là est vraiment géniale!!! Et tellement vraie...

C'est Nocats qui a bu son whisky, today !

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong.

She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."

I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"

She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon".

I said, "Well, why are you crying?"

She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.

I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"

The old women replies, "Because I can't remember where I live!"

No offence intended to any Scottish people, found this is an old email.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all out playing golf with their wives one day.
The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and as she bends over to place her ball a gust of wind blows her skirt up to reveal that she is not wearing any underwear.

"Good God" exclaimed her husband. " Why aren`t you wearing any knickers?"
"Well you don`t give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy any" she replied
Her husband puts his hand in his pocket and says " here for the sake of decency is £50, for goodness sake go and buy yourself some."

Next the Irishman's wife steps up to take her shot and the same thing happens.
" Be Jesus woman, you`ve no knickers! Why not?" said her husband.
She gives the same answer as the first wife.
The Irishman too reaches into his pocket and gives her £20 " for decencies sake, go buy yourself some!"

Lastly the Scotsman's wife goes to the tee, a gust of wind reveals that she too is knickerless,
"hoots man woman, why d`ye hae no knickers?" says her astonished husband
"I can`t afford any with what little money you give me" she replied

The Scotsman immediately reached into his pocket and said " For the sake of decency, here`s a comb....tidy yourself up a wee bit."

Honni soit qui mal y pense !

Man sitting reading the paper, when his wife hit him across the head. He said

"What's that for?".

"I've found a piece of paper in your pocket with Mary Ellen written on it".

Quick as a flash he said "That was the name of a horse from the races last week" which she accepted.

A week later she hits him over the head with the frying pan

"What's that for?'"

"Your bloody horse phoned!!!!!!!!"

A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull dog on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn't stand the curiosity.

She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

The woman replied, "Well that first hearse is for my husband."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."

ERASED !

CAROLE

Carole May I remind you that we have a teenager who tries to learn English... (but it was a good one )